Bowls of note

Curated porridges with names, stories and recipes. Pick one, then tweak it into your own.

The Glasgow Salute

Oats, water, salt. Anything else is an apology.

  • 🌾 Steel-cut oats
  • 💧 Water
  • 🧂 Pinch of salt

Bircher Adjacent

Legally distinct from muesli. Emotionally identical.

  • 🥣 Rolled oats
  • 🌰 Almond milk
  • 🍎 Grated apple
  • 🟤 Cinnamon
  • 🥛 Greek yoghurt
  • 🌰 Toasted almonds

The Deviant Standard

The gateway savoury. Nobody comes back from this one.

  • 🥣 Rolled oats
  • 🍲 Stock
  • 🧀 Cheese
  • 🧅 Spring onion
  • 🧂 Pinch of salt
  • 🌶️ Chilli crisp
  • 🎃 Pumpkin seeds

Banana Bread in Denial

It's breakfast because it's in a bowl. That's the rule.

  • 🥣 Rolled oats
  • 🥛 Dairy milk
  • 🍌 Mashed banana
  • 🟤 Cinnamon
  • 🥜 Toasted walnuts
  • 🍁 Maple syrup

The Tropics Called

A holiday you can make in a dressing gown.

  • ⚡ Instant oats
  • 🥥 Coconut milk
  • ⚫ Chia seeds
  • 🍌 Sliced banana
  • 🍫 Cacao nibs

The School Night Special

Nostalgia, lightly weaponised. Cream optional, inevitable.

  • ⚡ Instant oats
  • 🫗 Half water, half milk
  • 🟤 Cinnamon
  • 🟫 Brown sugar

The Birthday Banana

Caramelised-banana energy, peanut butter dollop. For birthdays and other Tuesdays.

  • 🥣 Rolled oats
  • 🥛 Dairy milk
  • 🍌 Mashed banana
  • 🟤 Cinnamon
  • 🥜 Peanut butter
  • 🍌 Sliced banana
  • 🍯 Honey

The Wooden Spoon’s Rival

Championship rules. Stirred clockwise, obviously.

  • 🌾 Steel-cut oats
  • 💧 Water
  • 🧂 Pinch of salt
  • 🧈 Knob of butter

Messi Tier

Quick oats, soy, chia, honey. Simple. Undefeated.

  • ⚡ Instant oats
  • 🫘 Soy milk
  • ⚫ Chia seeds
  • 🍯 Honey

Not Bad, Actually

Rolled oats, full milk, chopped figs, pinch of salt. Reviewed at the desk: not bad.

  • 🥣 Rolled oats
  • 🥛 Dairy milk
  • 🟣 Figs
  • 🧂 Pinch of salt

The Widdershins

Stirred the wrong way on purpose. The devil sends his compliments.

  • 🥣 Rolled oats
  • 💧 Water
  • 🧂 Pinch of salt
  • 🌶️ Chilli crisp

The Flummery Revival

Medieval Britain set oats into a cold jelly and called it flummery. This one stays warm.

  • 🥣 Rolled oats
  • 💧 Water
  • 🌼 Vanilla essence
  • 🍓 Fruit compote

The Roman Import

Oats reached Britain with the Romans. The empire left. The porridge stayed.

  • 🌾 Steel-cut oats
  • 💧 Water
  • 🧂 Pinch of salt
  • 🍯 Honey

The Standing Ovation

Tradition says porridge is eaten standing — respect for the oat, or readiness for enemies.

  • 🥣 Rolled oats
  • 🫗 Half water, half milk
  • 🧂 Pinch of salt
  • 🍯 Honey

The Full Scottish

Butter on porridge. The old ways persist because the old ways are delicious.

  • 🌾 Steel-cut oats
  • 🫗 Half water, half milk
  • 🧂 Pinch of salt
  • 🧈 Knob of butter
  • 🍦 Cold cream

The Syrup Dynasty

Golden syrup in a spiral, as taught by someone's nan, as taught by hers.

  • 🥣 Rolled oats
  • 🥛 Dairy milk
  • 🍇 Raisins & sultanas
  • 🥇 Golden syrup
  • 🧈 Knob of butter

The Overnight Shift

Made at 11pm by someone who felt powerful doing it.

  • 🥣 Rolled oats
  • 🌰 Almond milk
  • ⚫ Chia seeds
  • 🌴 Chopped dates
  • 🌰 Almond butter

The Peanut Gallery

Loud, reliable, always has an opinion. Correct, usually.

  • 🥣 Rolled oats
  • 🥛 Dairy milk
  • 🍌 Mashed banana
  • 🥜 Peanut butter
  • 🍫 Cacao nibs

The Hedgerow

Foraged aesthetics, supermarket logistics.

  • 🥣 Rolled oats
  • 🌾 Oat milk
  • 🌱 Flax seeds
  • 🫐 Fresh berries
  • 🥛 Greek yoghurt

The Cardamom Line

The spice rack takes the wheel. Nobody complains.

  • 🥣 Rolled oats
  • 🥥 Coconut milk
  • 🌿 Cardamom
  • 🌴 Chopped dates
  • 🌰 Toasted almonds
  • 🍯 Honey

Congee Curious

Not congee. Warm regards to congee. Different grain, same religion.

  • 🥣 Rolled oats
  • 🍲 Stock
  • 🥚 Egg
  • 🧅 Spring onion
  • 🧂 Pinch of salt
  • 🌶️ Chilli crisp

The Chai Reckoning

The spice rack got involved. The spice rack was right.

  • 🥣 Rolled oats
  • 🥛 Dairy milk
  • 🌿 Cardamom
  • 🫚 Nutmeg & ginger
  • 🍯 Honey

The Winter Coat

Warmth you can schedule. July approves, hemisphere depending.

  • 🌾 Steel-cut oats
  • 🫗 Half water, half milk
  • 🫚 Nutmeg & ginger
  • 🍇 Raisins & sultanas
  • 🧂 Pinch of salt
  • 🥜 Toasted walnuts
  • 🍯 Honey

The Beach Episode

Every long-running breakfast eventually has one.

  • ⚡ Instant oats
  • 🥥 Coconut milk
  • 🍌 Mashed banana
  • 🍌 Sliced banana
  • 🍫 Cacao nibs

The Sultana Accord

Peace terms between fancy and familiar. Both sides claim victory.

  • 🥣 Rolled oats
  • 🫗 Half water, half milk
  • 🍇 Raisins & sultanas
  • 🟤 Cinnamon
  • 🧂 Pinch of salt
  • 🌰 Toasted almonds

The Protein Memo

This bowl goes to the gym and, unlike some, doesn't mention it.

  • 🥣 Rolled oats
  • 🫘 Soy milk
  • 🌱 Flax seeds
  • ⚫ Chia seeds
  • 🎃 Pumpkin seeds
  • 🥛 Greek yoghurt

The Apple Diplomat

Strudel's representative at the breakfast table. Very persuasive.

  • 🥣 Rolled oats
  • 🫗 Half water, half milk
  • 🍎 Grated apple
  • 🟤 Cinnamon
  • 🧂 Pinch of salt
  • 🥛 Greek yoghurt
  • 🍯 Honey

The Date Night

Sticky toffee pudding with an alibi.

  • 🥣 Rolled oats
  • 🌰 Almond milk
  • 🌴 Chopped dates
  • 🌰 Almond butter
  • 🍫 Cacao nibs

The Vanilla Sky

Custard's understudy finally gets the part.

  • ⚡ Instant oats
  • 🥛 Dairy milk
  • 🌼 Vanilla essence
  • 🍓 Fruit compote

The Golden Hour

Photogenic and it knows it. Pistachios placed, not scattered.

  • 🥣 Rolled oats
  • 🌾 Oat milk
  • 🌼 Vanilla essence
  • 🟤 Cinnamon
  • 🥇 Golden syrup
  • 🟢 Chopped pistachios

The Maple Leaf

Autumn in a bowl. Politely insists it's autumn somewhere.

  • 🥣 Rolled oats
  • 🥛 Dairy milk
  • 🟤 Cinnamon
  • 🍁 Maple syrup
  • 🥜 Toasted walnuts
  • 🍌 Sliced banana

The Highland Standard

Pinhead oatmeal, water, salt — competition grade. Judged on taste, texture and colour. Sails through.

  • 📌 Pinhead oatmeal
  • 💧 Water
  • 🧂 Pinch of salt

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